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The Great Tribulation

The CFL season starts tomorrow. I'm a staunch patriot when it comes to three-down football but I can't remember being less excited to make that statement. I think we now have to ask, have a city's sports fans ever suffered through a worse 13 months? At about 8:30 pm on June 6, 2006, the Oilers were ahead 3-0 late in the second period of Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals. Within an hour they had coughed up that lead, watched their starting goalie get physically broken into several pieces by Marc-André Bergeron, put the clownish Ty Conklin in net, and lost the game when Conky went behind the net with 30 seconds on the clock and decided to pad Rod Brind'Amour's playoff scoring totals. They went on, of course, to lose the series, face a trade demand from their best player, move his heavily discounted contract to Anaheim for two disappointing youngsters, and miss the playoffs by a million miles as Anaheim won the Cup, laughing and jeering all the way. Meanwhile the CFL Eskimos finished last in the West and hence missed the playoffs for the first time since 1971; Kevin Martin couldn't get past the 3-4 Page game at the Brier; and our Northern League team, not that anyone gives a damn, enjoyed a losing season punctuated by a little-noticed June meltdown involving a vicious brawl, a deliberate forfeit, and the firing of the manager. The whole Chris Benoit thing isn't really "sports" but it certainly fits the ugly pattern—the guy had the same kind of status here that Brett Favre does in Wisconsin or Derek Jeter in NYC. Is it any wonder that some Edmonton fans are already cheering for the Oilers to tank the '08-'09 season just for a crack at John Tavares?

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Comments (21)

Okay, yeah, you've had a pretty bad run there, and yes, Vancouver currently has the Memorial Cup (sorry, Medicine Hat!) and the Grey Cup, but the 80s were very good to you.

Mike:

I live in Toronto. You can teach me absolutely nothing about sports disappointment.

Edmonton: City of Champion!

Edmonton: City of Champions!

Meanwhile, in Hamilton, the season is starting with a fanfare of false hope for the eighth consecutive year. I'd happily settle for a playoff game this year; a home playoff game would render me ecstatic. I have a funny feeling we're looking at 4-14 again though.

I will tell you one thing, though. Timmy Chang has really made me sit up and take notice. Even in college, he wasn't physically impressive but he could really run an offence. I hope he gets a shot somewhere along the line to show what he can do, because he looked real good running things in preseason despite getting no practice reps.

Any time your great quarterbacking hope is named "Timmy Chang" you know you're in trouble.

Meanwhile, in Hamilton, the season is starting with a fanfare of false hope for the eighth consecutive year.

I don't suppose last month's little game of "NHL Keepaway" much improved the fortunes of sports fans in Steeltown either.

I live in Toronto. You can teach me absolutely nothing about sports disappointment.

Its awfully hard to feel sympathy for Toronto in general, let alone the specific case where 5.3 million people can't be bothered to care for the successes of their CFL franchise and instantly turn around and demand an NFL team.

Yeah, but an NFL team would mean Toronto is a World Class City like Los Angeles! Oh, wait ...

I don't suppose last month's little game of "NHL Keepaway" much improved the fortunes of sports fans in Steeltown either.

Much as I'd like to say I wasn't paying any attention, I'm not that far along the path of samadhi. That being said, I'm certainly not putting any money down for tickets - and glad I didn't.

At this point, I treat rich men who announce an interest in bringing an NHL team to Hamilton in exactly the same way that (before I was married) I used to treat attractive women who proposed to have sex with me. I (1) make the appropriate noises of interest, (2) watch them warily and *very* closely for signs of instability, (3) commit absolutely no money to the venture until the deal is actually moving forward, (4) control my public excitement to the maximum possible extent, and (5) expect *absolutely nothing* to actually happen.

These principles have served me well.

I think today's announcement is a hiccup on the way to extorting more from Balsillie. I don't know if Leipold made his money or inherited it, but I'm sure he hasn't hung onto it by burning $50 million chunks of it. There's no way he voluntarily passes up a $238M bid for one worth less than $200M.

Don't forget the Oilers also trading local hero and former "Career Oiler" Ryan Smyth for a bag of magic beans once their playoff hopes joined those of their CFL cousins.

Leon Robinson:

Chris Benoit "had the same kind of status here that Brett Favre does in Wisconsin or Derek Jeter in NYC"? Either Cosh is talking through his ass, or Edmonton has become a dark place indeed.

Either Cosh is talking through his ass, or Edmonton has become a dark place indeed.

They were terrible examples. But Benoit was very loved here.

Yes, Benoit was a huge celebrity in Edmonton. At least, he was until Monday.

marc w.:

Always wondered what happened to Timmy Chang. He was hyped every year, with June Jones all but guaranteeing that he'd win a Heisman trophy at Hawaii, only to suffer through 4 mediocre seasons and then to have his records systematically demolished by Colt Brennan. Speaking of QBs from Hawaii, why hasn't anyone in Canada given Jason Gesser a chance?

Anyway, we Seattleites have had some rough years recently, from the pain of a super bowl loss marred by...bizarre decisions made by the officials, to yet another season of ineptitude by the M's to the owner of the Sonics openly shopping the team to other cities JUST as they snag Durant/Oden in the draft. I think it was about 2 years ago that someone thought Salt Lake City would be a better market for the MLS (even if you hate soccer, when someone chooses Utah over you, it really makes you take stock of things. Or it makes you get drunk, because hey, take THAT, Utah!).
I feel ya, Cosh.

Rob:

I have a funny feeling we're looking at 4-14 again

Four's pretty optimistic. After all, Hamilton's offensive coordinator would apparently rather coordinate a bad university team. Either that or there's a reverse Ewing Theory in effect from Paopao's Ottawa days and the Ti-Cats will go into a dispersal draft after this year.

In any event, I don't envy the poor Hamilton Spectator soul who draws the short straw this year.

Matt:

Gesser was the Stamps' #2 in 2005, got some PT too, even a couple of starts. He wasn't back in 2006. Good piece here.

One remembers that Benoit's WWF (screw the damned pandas, I'm calling it by its semi-proper name -- WWWF being its proper) Title win was the most predictable in recent memory because of Edmonton's RAW show the next night.

It was seen an fait accompli that Benoit would win the title going into his hometown, knowing full well that he literally had the following in Edmonton that Brett Hart had in Calgary or Steve Austin had in southeast Texas. If MLB rigged its games (and this year had it been scripted it would have ranked amoung the worst storylines ever), you can bet that Yankees-Padres exhibition game in Kalamazoo, MI would feature Jeter hitting a grand slam in the ninth to win the game. The comparison wasn't perhaps that bad.

FACLC: Benoit winning the title at WM20 might have been predictable, but not because Raw was in Edmonton the next night. The Backlash PPV was in Edmonton the following month, however.

It was seen an fait accompli that Benoit would win the title going into his hometown, knowing full well that he literally had the following in Edmonton that Brett Hart had in Calgary or Steve Austin had in southeast Texas.

That ended up well for Hart.

A tie? That's how the season began for the Eskimos? Team's score an average of 667 points a game in the CFL, and one team can't surge ahead for the victory?

39-39? The hell? Maybe the Eskimos should've gotten a new defensive coordinator, too, since things seemed to be going swimmingly on Ray's side of the ball from what I saw.

cynical joe:

Gotta say, Edmonton black mood aside, that was a hell of a game, and the T.O./B.C. game had me watching too. It looks like the kick return game is back, baby.

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