What do Stephen Malkmus and Colby Cosh have in common? It seems they both drafted Milwaukee Brewers OF Corey Hart for their fantasy baseball teams last year, based on preseason assurances from the team that he would play every day, and then gave up on him just in time to watch him become the terror of the National League. He sat on my league's waiver wire from May 10 to June 1: Fenwick got to him first once Ned Yost came to his senses. Not coincidentally, Matt ended the year as Alberta Baseball Confederacy champion.
I also believed J.P. Ricciardi when he said that B.J. Ryan was just having minor back trouble. That cost me the draft pick I traded for BJR and the keeper tag I used on him. This is how you finish the season 41-51*: by trusting too much.
*Note: horrible record was just good enough to snag playoff berth and beat defending league champ in nailbiting storybook classic of a division semifinal
Comments (21)
Further note: Colby plays in a division of teams that might as well be managed by poo flinging monkeys. Coaches in the NHL's Eastern Conference would look at it and go "Jesus Christ. They gotta do something about that - it's a fucking disgrace." Grady Little would probably make the playoffs in that division.
Plus, despite being Albertans many of them of them don't believe in the rule of law and are in favour of activist commissioners. Completely disagraceful.
Posted by Tyler | March 8, 2008 12:48 AM
Posted on March 8, 2008 00:48
The poo-flinging monkeys in our division scored 30,285 points between them. Tyler's division totalled 30,196. Perhaps in this metaphor they are the ones catching and eating the poo, I don't know.
Posted by Colby Cosh | March 8, 2008 12:55 AM
Posted on March 8, 2008 00:55
Coaches in the NHL's Eastern Conference would look at it and go "Jesus Christ. They gotta do something about that - it's a fucking disgrace."
Ouch.
[Broken HTML tag fixed for you by poo-flinging monkey who knows how to type. -CC]
Posted by AtlanticTy | March 8, 2008 8:40 AM
Posted on March 8, 2008 08:40
In my fantasy pool I'd drafted Corey Hart not only as part of our funny-name affirmative action program (see Bradley, Milton) but because I had April confidence that the Brewers would be en route to the World Series. It seemed like a good idea for the first 30 games.
Posted by FACLC | March 8, 2008 11:16 AM
Posted on March 8, 2008 11:16
You gave up on Corey Hart?
I guess the moral of the story is: never surrender.
Posted by Lord Bob | March 8, 2008 1:56 PM
Posted on March 8, 2008 13:56
I waived Kevin Kouzmanoff after his bad start, too. The lesson is that bad draft picks can cost you the benefit of good ones by putting intolerable pressure on your roster and forcing you to drop guys you could otherwise sit on for a few months.
Posted by Colby Cosh | March 8, 2008 2:59 PM
Posted on March 8, 2008 14:59
I stuck with Hart the whole year, but I did trade Pat Burrell for next to nothing around the All Star Break when he was hitting .204 and getting benched twice a week. It went just about as well.
Posted by Ryan | March 8, 2008 6:02 PM
Posted on March 8, 2008 18:02
I bring this up only to rub it in, but the only reason I picked up Sunglasses at Night once he got a week's straight starts was because Cosh rated him so highly pre-season.
I had essentially never heard of him, and certainly had no research of my own to recommend him -- I took him solely on the basis of Cosh's high regard. My compliments to the host on his fine spreadsheets.
Posted by Matt | March 8, 2008 7:44 PM
Posted on March 8, 2008 19:44
If anyone knows where I can hire one of these poo-flinging monkeys to manage my team, please let me know. Do any of them have MySQL experience?
The poo-flinging monkeys in our division scored 30,285 points between them. Tyler's division totalled 30,196.
Let it not slip unnoticed that Tyler's record after two years is 91-93. He's welcome to hop divisions anytime, assuming the interventionists will facilitate the move.
He should get credit 'most improved' manager, though, having posted a .609 w% last year after a disastrous 2006 (.380 w%).
Posted by Martin | March 9, 2008 4:22 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 16:22
Let it not slip unnoticed that Tyler's record after two years is 91-93. He's welcome to hop divisions anytime, assuming the interventionists will facilitate the move.
He should get credit 'most improved' manager, though, having posted a .609 w% last year after a disastrous 2006 (.380 w%).
I'm not at all sure what Fenwick did to earn that shot - that's his team you're referring to.
Through two years, my team's record is 103-81, good for fourth behind Mitz (rigged the draft in year one to get Pujols) and Andy and yourself (poo-flinging monkey division - your division is 3247.9 points behind ours in the two years of play, and that's with the Brawler putting up 18,018.7 points last year, an amazing 864 points worse than the next worst season in ABC history.)
Posted by Tyler | March 9, 2008 6:04 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 18:04
The figures I already gave for last year are correct, counting weekly point totals only once instead of four times. Our division was the better of the two in 2007.
Posted by Colby Cosh | March 9, 2008 6:27 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 18:27
Ah...every "game" as opposed to week gets counted in the league's PF, which would exaggerate things.
Well, the point still stands - Zingari was historically bad last year. That still left five of us who knew what we were doing. We're still the stronger division over the two years of the league.
Posted by Tyler | March 9, 2008 6:35 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 18:35
Stronger in 2006 (when the draft was ordered by lot), weaker in 2007, and we'll just have to see about 2008. You do have Gay-Rod coming in your direction in exchange for a handful of magic beans.
Posted by Colby Cosh | March 9, 2008 6:49 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 18:49
I'm not at all sure what Fenwick did to earn that shot - that's his team you're referring to.
I stand corrected. Apologies for tarring you with the wrong brush. It was Fenwick's team that improved in 07. Yours got worse...
Posted by Martin | March 9, 2008 8:29 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 20:29
By a greater margin than anyone else's, actually. He plunged from 60-32 to 43-49.
Posted by Colby Cosh | March 9, 2008 8:38 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 20:38
Count me as another who drafted Hart and let him go, only to see him plucked from the waiver wire. In my defense, I was suffering from a rash of injuries and just didn't have the spot on my bench for him.
Posted by John Thacker | March 11, 2008 5:41 PM
Posted on March 11, 2008 17:41
Of course, I also had Prince Fielder (8th round in a 16 team league) and picked up Ryan Braun when he entered the computerized system after being called up, ditto with Hunter Pence, so I can't complain too much.
Posted by John Thacker | March 11, 2008 5:46 PM
Posted on March 11, 2008 17:46
Fielder went later than 128th overall? Fuck's sake, maybe I should be playing in your league, it might be more my speed.
Posted by Colby Cosh | March 11, 2008 5:52 PM
Posted on March 11, 2008 17:52
Heh. Yes, my league is a bit too light on the research into rookies and sophomores, or at least has been in recent years. It's done via the Yahoo online system, which doesn't always add call-ups until they've been called up. Hence my Braun and Pence acquisitions off waivers last year. 2004 was similar for me-- I rode midseason pickups Jason Bay and Justin Morneau to victory. It's also only a week-to-week league; daily roster shuffling of pitchers and catchers would drive me crazy.
Your league sounds brutal in its difficulty.
Posted by John Thacker | March 12, 2008 7:43 AM
Posted on March 12, 2008 07:43
Screw Fielder as a 129th overall pick: sign me up for the Yahoo fantasy league where Justin Morneau is available as a midseason pickup.
Posted by FACLC | March 12, 2008 8:49 PM
Posted on March 12, 2008 20:49
Our league uses CBS's system. It's not talked about much but it is pretty fucking good, at least compared to some jive-ass system that didn't know who Hunter Pence was until well into 2007. The free-agent list is 1,900 batters and 1,600 pitchers deep. If Colter Bean has a sudden career renaissance in mid-year, he'll be immediately available.
And how's this for drama: I reacquired Hart yesterday just before the keeper deadline.
Posted by Colby Cosh | March 18, 2008 3:23 AM
Posted on March 18, 2008 03:23